By: Avigayil Basser
Last night, I was rolling with a newcomer to the dojo. I’d been off the mats for 6+ years while pregnant and breastfeeding. Amanda joined us around the same time I started up again. Rolling with Amanda has been challenging for me. She has strong legs and general athletic ability while outweighing me by a couple of weight classes.
Now a few months into training again, my fluidity has returned. I started to get a better handle on these grappling matches (and I think Amanda is favouring technique over brute strength). But I’d still be wrecked every time. In my mind, I had no hope of submitting her, ever. She can toss my legs aside to pass and I feel no more in control than a rag doll. Once she claims side mount, I can hardly breathe.
But last night, she made a mistake. In trying to escape the mount, she put one hand out to scoop my thigh and get me off her. As soon as she did, I slid into a mounted triangle and then rolled over, carefully adjusting my legs and the position of her remaining arm. She hung in for a while, forcing me to refine the position, but ultimately it was sinched, and she tapped.
We hugged it out and I explained why she was caught so she can avoid it next time.
And I know I’ll never get that on her again. Because she’ll never leave one arm in again.
It got me thinking about a mistake I made in my earlier training days. I was rolling with Esther (some of you might know her as Redbull). At the time, I considered us evenly matched in ability. We were similar in size and strength, though I think she still out-skilled me. It was during one of our competition prep battles that Redbull used shoulder pressure on me, and I had to tap from it. The pain was unbearable. I was so upset—how could she submit me without a submission?! You might have guessed this was the day I learned how to frame. I’ve never tapped from the shoulder of justice since.
Mistakes are part of the process. We often see parents (especially those with martial arts experience) trying to correct their children from the sidelines. Even adults take losses they view as unexpected or unfair (by someone they view as an equal) especially hard. But then we finally make a mistake we never forget because we learn from it! And that’s when we learn to honour our mistakes. Mistakes are truly one of the best learning tools in the dojo and in life.